It’s Too Late for Skip Gates, But Here’s How to Avoid Talking Yourself Into Jail

No one wants to get arrested on the porch of his own home, like Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. did after a neighbor called police to report that two men were forcing open the front door of his residence. The two men turned out to be the professor and his driver. As a public service, I am giving my readers advice on what not to do if this should ever happen to you: Do Not Disobey the Officer’s Instructions. When the police officer arrives to investigate the burglary call, bear in mind that he probably doesn’t know you from Adam, no matter how famous you think you are. When he enters your home and asks you for identification, it’s because he wants to verify that you actually live there. In Professor Gates’ case, the police sergeant was informed that there were possibly two burglars, and he didn’t know where the other man was. If you don’t comply with his instructions, he’ll probably think you’re one of the burglars. Above all, don’t tell the officer, “No, I will not!” (show ID) or “I’ll show yo mama my ID . . .” What legitimate reason would you have to not identify yourself to the officer? Don’t Try To Intimidate the Officer. Once you’ve satisfied the officer that you’re the legitimate occupant of the residence, don’t then say something accusatory like, “What’s your name and badge number?” As far as the officer is concerned, he’s just doing his job, so what’s the beef? Also, the question will be interpreted as a form of intimidation because his uniform has a name tag, and most badges clearly display a number on them. Don’t say what Prof. Gates did as the officer walked away, such as, “You haven’t heard the last of me!” Don’t Play the Race Card. When the officer tells you that he’s investigating a report of a burglary, don’t ask, “Why, because I’m a (fill in the blank) man in America?” It’s not a good idea to accuse the officer of being a racist, especially when he isn’t one. Believe me, the officer doesn’t care if you’re black, white or whatever. He’s just doing his job. His pay is the same whether he harasses you or not. How do you know if he is a racist? Making such a remark confirms to the officer that you’re a racist. Don’t Become Loud and Animated. No matter how offended you are that the officer thought you were a burglar, don’t make another mistake by raising your voice and yelling at him. Yelling and acting like a fool makes you look like a jackass. It’s also a crime if you yell and carry on to the point of engaging in disorderly conduct. Talking to the officer in a normal tone of voice will never land you in jail, but yelling at the officer on your front porch in public view provides the officer with the legal basis to arrest you. Don’t Say or Imply You’re Some Kind Of Big Shot. Prof. Gates reportedly told Sgt. James Crowley, “You don’t know who you are messing with.” When coupled with yelling, it’s a good bet that you’re going to go to jail to prove that officers of the Cambridge Police Department cannot be intimidated. Sgt. Crowley knew exactly who he was “messing with:” A blow-hard, racist, elitist who looks down at less-educated, working-class people, and thinks he’s too lofty to deal with lowly civil servants such as a police sergeant. Professor Gates later said he called Harvard University, the owner of his house, to report that the front door was stuck shut, and thought it had sent the police to repair it for him. How arrogant is that? When have you ever heard of the police going to someone’s home to repair something? Who else but a tenured Haaarvard professor would even conceive of such a thing? If you follow these simple, common sense rules, you’ll avoid jail, embarrassing yourself, your employer, your profession and maybe even the president of the United States.